This exercise helps couples understand each other, and feel heard.
The first partner (the thinker) will raise a topic. Their partner (the curious) then asks questions about that topic so they can accurately understand the thinker’s perspective. This is called accurate cognitive empathy. This means the curious could accurately explain the why, the what, the how, and when it happens (according to the thinker). The curious does not need to agree with anything. No solutions are proposed by the curious. It is simply about the thinker being encouraged to lay that topic out on the table, and the curious understanding their perspective well. This helps the thinker to feel seen and heard. It also helps at a later time to work out ways to find solutions that fit both partners.
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